Mental health disruption. On this month.

I have been experiencing mental turbulence for a very long time.I feel worthless and don't feel engaged at work. There is a lot of anxiety about the future as well as grudges that I am unable to move past after decades. I feel that my decisions were all wrong-be it the choice of higher education or profession, which I believe were needlessly influenced by my parents who wanted me to fit into their mould. When things go wrong , I feel the whole world is conspiring against me. I burst out in anger when this happens and break things which belong to me, I have never hurt any living being or things which belong to others.I have low opinion of myself although I have done well to reach wherever I am today - a loving wife, an adorable little boy, a well paid job and a much awaited home which I will have my hands on this month.