Immediate help / advice. To use again,

I've severe OCD [contamination/pure O] & panic disorder (diagnosed in 2020)I used SSRIs for 2 weeks, skipped one dose on accident, got scared of side effects [extreme nausea/brain zaps], decided never to use again, regardless i managed to break down compulsions from 10 hours/DAY down to 10 mins - solo, unmedicated, no alcohol, no cigs, zero external help, severe ocd mutates like cancer & cure does not exist, right now main trigger is consistent parental conflict, toxic enviro, violence escalated on Aug 21, ever since I am in constant fight-or-flight panic, since i cant speak w people/strangers in person so i can't rent a place, and i have no friends (on purpose), should i continue suffocating in same house or should i somehow rent a temp apartment? I have tried all i can to de-escalate situation 100s of times, it never worked been YEARS now, i have no tolerance left and I'm not sure how to proceed and if someone can somehow help, [pls process deletion for this post on Sep 20]