My husband's friend calls my 14 year old daughter frequently on a regular basis in the guise of teaching her. Most of the times, he calls her to talk random stuff. He is not the lecher/pedophile types. Yesterday when he called I picked up my daughter's phone. I kept saying hello...he did not speak at all so I disconnected.. I called him back and he didn't pick up, got the line busy tone. Today he called my husband and said that your daughter asked me a doubt and I will call your daughter, ask your wife to not pick up my call ( I think he wanted my D to pick up his call)
I don't like him calling my daughter frequently and also telling my husband that I should not pick up my daughter's call seems like something is off.
What should I make of it?
Answers (7)
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Hi
Your concern is valid. A grown man frequently calling a 14-year-old girl for non-academic reasons, then asking that you not answer her phone, is a clear boundary violation. Even if he doesn’t “seem” inappropriate, secrecy and controlling communication are red flags.
Set firm limits: no private calls, all communication goes through you or your husband. Talk to your daughter openly and keep monitoring. It’s better to act early than to ignore instincts.
Take therapy, and you can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
I completely understand your concern. This situation sounds unsettling, especially with the frequency of the calls and the tone of the interactions. Itâs good that youâre paying attention and thinking critically about whatâs happening. Letâs break down some of the factors involved and how you might approach this:
Key Points to Consider:
Frequency of Calls
Your Gut Feeling
The Attempt to Avoid You
The Communication with Your Husband
Next Steps
What You Should Do-Talk to Your Husband, Set Boundaries with the Friend, Protect Your Daughter and Monitor the Situation.
Please speak to your daughter about what has been happening and provide her a safe space to talk to you about anything which concerns her. Try to build that relationship with your child is imperative. Also have open discussion with your husband highlighting your concern as a parent and why its bothersome to you. We need to protect the child in case there is any chance of any harm to her. it’s visible by your question that things doesn’t seem that right.
It’s your daughter
Your rules
Listen to your gut
Say no when it’s needed
You will teach your daughter also to set boundaries in future
I see no reason why as a mother you can’t pick up the call ans he can talk to the daughter ans not you
Sounds unreasonable
Please maintain an open line of communication with your daughter. Have a discussion about online and phone safety with her and assure her that she can reach out to you at any time for anything that makes her uncomfortable or unhappy.
You can also set a boundary as the adult in the situation about the frequency and type of contact that the man is having with your underage daughter. Involving your husband in this so that both of you present a united front would be best in this matter.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
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