He used and left me

Mam , I was studying and he was working. We are very good lovers ,after sometime we became very close but now he was getting doubt on me and saying ur not perfect for me. And even he was asking about my virginity. I know he was very good but now he was not in my life, can we change his thoughts can u help me for this? Please tell me what can I do for this?
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Doctor Answers (1) on He used and left me

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Ms. Sneha Bhat Bangalore | Counselling Psychologist
It is a hard time for you. I can see how much you are missing him and how badly you want him back. When you love a person romantically, there are 3 aspects to it. First one is to find him attractive. Second one is to find that you both think and feel about many things similarly, which develops intimacy and the third one is respect & commitment towards each other and also towards relationship. If a relationship is based mostly on attraction or even attraction and intimacy, it can only sustain for a while because eventually you might find someone else attractive and you might also find few others who are also similar to you. So you change. If there is respect for each other and commitment in lovers, they would sustain their relationship longer. Dear User, ask yourself one thing. do you think it will be easy for you to alter your emotions and forget him at this moment..?? If you said No, it's even more tough for you to change his emotions towards you because he has already started to disrespect you & blame you. If you think about what i said calmly for a while, you would eventually see that you deserve someone who would truly love you for what you are. If you still are in pain after a week, do consult a psychologist/counselor who would help you to sort out the situation in the way you want. Best, Sneha Bhat
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