Feeling lost. And don't want any noise.

I have routine going on for 2 years. Waking up for office, coming home, having dinner, sleeping and then repeat. I have a history of PCOS, Vitamin D deficiency and I have been an introvert in my school days. I have been an under confident person almost my whole life but it has changed in some past years. My home situation emotionally is not that good as my father is an conservative person so it makes it difficult for me. Constantly feeling disrespected, rejected and triggered when someone argues with another person. It feels like everything is falling apart and nothing is right. I keep staring at one place when I am alone and keep thinking of useless things. I try to be happy but inside it feels like I can literally fall down on my knees and start crying. Sometimes these feelings suffocate me to an extent that I cannot breathe. Sometimes I am so happy and feel that everything is working out. Whenever I come home, for some reason I require peace and silence and don't want any noise.