Feel likes my life worth nothing.

Everything I do seems to be useless. I can't engage in social activities because I fear that I might end up doing something stupid. My brain is always on fire. Every time I do anything some part of me always worries that it will fire back. If anyone talks anything bad about me I will keep worrying for whole week thinking what I did wrong. My mouth is always dry and I feel tired. I always avoid birthday parties and other office activities which other people seems to enjoy. I keep checking doors and refrigerator that they might not be properly closed. I keep having flashbacks of my past mistakes and can't focus on the current activities properly. I keep checking my ATM cards in my wallet that might have drop one of them. I wash my hands and feet every 30 minutes. I feel hopeless no matter what I do I always be the last. If someone ask me to go for lunch or dinner some part of me always wants to deny it as I fear I might exposed myself.