Doctor Answers (4) on Depression
Though it is an arranged marriage it I better to get to know the compatability of both of you.
We all have a tendency to be affected by situations around us meaning we are in good mood when good things happen to us or when people around us treat us well & transition to a bad mood when things does not go as expected or people around us mistreat us. When we are in good mood, we treat people well & visevarsa.
Few people tend to take this general tendency to next level where they manipulate another person or situation to alter their mood. They do not do it intentionally however are used to behave in a certain pattern unknowingly.
Your fiancé points out your mistakes, treats you badly & emotionaly puts you down for a while till you are hurt & start reacting to the situation. Once you react, he feels guilty hence ashamed of his behaviour and starts treating you in an opposite way till you feel really good & react. At this point he feels as if he has lost control over situation hence needs to put you down to take back the control. End of the day, you just end up behaving like a confused puppet, whom he is controlling to balance his mood from one end to another.
Solution would be to make him aware of his pattern by not reacting to it but pointing out his behaviour to him in a straight forward way. Remember that his behaviour with you has nothing to do with you, though he is pointing out your mistakes for a while & praising your strengths later. When he is behaving in a mean way, accept your weaknesses however also point out that he is being mean without being affected emotionally(do not be angry or sad). When he is being nice, accept your strengths however also point out that he is being exceptionally nice without being affected emotionally(do not be excited). Notice his reaction. Find out if he is able to come to a middle position without manipulating you in few days. Also find out if he has an addiction he isn't able to manage & for which he needs help.
If it continues, do consult a professional for a premarital counseling so that you both enter the wedlock with right expectations & understanding.