I see that you are an ambitious person who is working really hard to realize your dreams. It is indeed disheartening when you do not get results for honest efforts. My dear, Path to success is also like any other path. One might be walking through it, running, riding, flying or cruising without knowing the requirements of path. In each case person would have put in lot of efforts however effort need not be the right match for what path needs. Good thing is that you are already motivated to work for success. That is half the work done. Now it's required to evaluate how you are going about it. Is it the best possible way of reaching success in the chosen field..?? I would give you few steps to evaluate. 1. Notice the exact way in which you are studying and note it down. 2. Take a random subject and ask yourself what exactly you think it is/ what do you understand from it/ What exactly will you be learning from it / How is it practical..?? 3. Read it's index and find out whatever the subject is saying/covering, find out if it's inline with your expectations (Learning a subject is like exploring a bungalow. If you start from some random room & keep exploring rooms, you would be lost if you want to reach somewhere or master it. You are to instead look at whole bungalow to begin with. Know the number of rooms/their type/size/purpose and how exactly they are linked to whole bungalow. Then start exploring from whole to it's parts. ) 4. Breeze through whole book as if it's a story book without putting any extra efforts to comprehend 5. Now that you know what whole of it is, feel free to study in whichever way you like further. 6. Last step would be to try and list things which might have gone wrong and understand the block. If you still see a block within you or outside you, do visit a counselor or psychologist to tackle the block. I am sure success is going to chase you soon.