Blame game. How to handle these two ppl?

Hi my mother in From a bg where her mom is a teacher (educated fly) & not seen difficulties . My father is from a normal bg & he has seen Difficulties .I am also from same bg my mom is house wife & seen difficulties. So instead of understanding she is playing the blame game that we are wrong in terms of education and handling difficulties. For eg we are able to understand others problem but she is not. Also, underestimates us in terms of education. We studied in a very average school due to financial difficulties. My father on the other side doing the same blame game he is a control freak. He dint go for job instead invested in business and always at loss . Heslap her. Have outside food & drinks alcohol. My mom got cancer and he dint treat her properly he made business with v the Dr &make loss & Dr dint give medicines. When she died he blamed her ppl think my mom is wrong . Becoz they heard only one side. How to handle these two ppl