Download FREE Practo app
Get ₹200 HealthCash
Avoidant Attachment
My best friend is an avoidant. We had a misunderstanding but he took all the effort to convince me that i am important to him and he values our friendship. Even came to my city to spend time with me. In those 4 days he was very loving and caring and even opened up to me for the first time about his past traumas and cried his heart out in my arms as well. He told me I am more important than his girlfriend (3months into the relationship) He can't live without talking to me. After he went back, he was okay for first few days. Later he told me I am possessive and he feels suffocated and wants space and also want to progress with his gf and he can't balance. I was devastated. He also told me whatever he told me earlier was only assurance and he didn't mean anything. But i don't think so. I feel he was real at that time. He told he is not breaking the friendship. Will he reconnect? How does it work? What should I do? I miss him a lot. We used to ralk daily
Answers (8)
Get your queries answered instantly with Care AI FREE
20000+ health queries resolved in last month
Hi
What you’re missing isn’t just the conversations—it’s the sense of being emotionally seen. Whether or not he reconnects will depend on his own inner work, not your efforts alone. The best thing you can do now is to take a pause, shift the focus to your own healing, and gently accept that his behavior is not a reflection of your worth or loveability. Sometimes the most loving thing is to stop chasing the version of someone they showed only briefly and start protecting the version of you that deserves consistency.
Take therapy, and you can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Didn't find the answer you are looking for?
Talk to experienced doctor online and get your health questions answered in just 5 minutes.
+120
Consult psychotherapist
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Give him his own space to overcome the dilemma...
He just needs time... nothing else.
Do not call him from your end. Let him develop his logical mind to decide and remain firm on the same.
You need an expert counseling psychologist to get a few tips.
Next Steps
I have been working as a Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Hi,It is very difficult to keep a romantic relationship and friendly relationship together for a person.Give him time to figure it out.In the mean time,you need to focus on your own mental and physical health.You can connect with a psychologist for professional help
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Hey, I hear you, this sounds really painful and could be confusing for you.
When someone has an avoidant attachment style, they can pull you in close and then push you away when emotions feel overwhelming. It doesn’t mean what he shared wasn’t real, but it also doesn’t mean he’s capable of maintaining the closeness he expressed. That’s a tough spot for you to be in.
Right now, your emotions are valid, and the grief you’re feeling is real. But instead of waiting in pain or overanalyzing his next move, this might be a good time to focus on you. Therapy could help you process this hurt, understand attachment patterns, and build boundaries that protect your peace.
You’re not alone, and healing is possible.
Next Steps
Consult for a one on one
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Ms. Pooja Gupta
Counselling Psychologist
8 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi,
It sounds like your friend has a complex and avoidant attachment style, which can make deep emotional connections challenging for him, especially when he feels overwhelmed or needs space. His recent actionsâspending time with you, opening up, expressing how much you mean to himâindicate that he genuinely values your friendship and cares deeply, but his need for independence and his relationship with his girlfriend are also important to him. His words about feeling suffocated and needing space suggest he is trying to balance his own needs, which can sometimes lead to mixed signals. It's possible he still values your friendship and may reconnect in the future, but healing and reconnection depend on both of you respecting his boundaries and giving him the space he needs. For now, focus on taking care of your emotional well-being, avoid pushing him for immediate answers, and allow things to unfold naturally. Staying patient, understanding his patterns, and maintaining a respectful distance can help preserve your friendship in the long run.
Next Steps
consult with a Psychologist
Health Tips
seek help
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Ms. Smriti
Counselling Psychologist
18 yrs exp
Bangalore
Connect with psychologist to resolve inner conflicts
Next Steps
consult
Health Tips
connect
Answered
Flag this answer
1/1 people found this helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Ms. Garima Chauhan
Clinical Psychologist
3 yrs exp
Delhi
Hi,
Thank you for sharing your feelings so openly. It’s clear that this connection meant a lot to you, and navigating emotional closeness with someone who has an avoidant attachment style can be deeply confusing and painful.
What you described seems like a genuine moment of emotional vulnerability from him, but avoidant individuals often struggle with intimacy—they may open up and then pull away out of fear, overwhelm, or a need for control and space. This doesn’t invalidate what he felt in the moment; it just shows how conflicted he may be internally.
Right now, it’s important to focus on your emotional well-being. Therapy can help you process the hurt, understand attachment patterns (yours and his), and decide whether holding space for this connection is healthy or if it’s time to set boundaries and heal.
You deserve consistent emotional safety, not confusion. If he reconnects in the future, it should be on terms that respect your needs too.
Warmly,
Garima Chauhan
Clinical Psychologist
Answered
Flag this answer
Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES
NO
Articles you may like
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
The question asked on this page is a free question. You can ask a free health question by downloading the Practo app.
Articles you may like
Tell us what's troubling you
Tell us what's troubling you
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.