You have the work stress as well as the pressure to leave it and be with your parents. You are married however aren't staying with your husband currently since quiet a long time. It's as if you are stuck and helpless among too many things and do not see much hope. However i also see the other side of you who has been a fighter amidst pressure. You have a great amount of turmoil that needs to be addressed. You certainly will find a way out of this situation. Please maintain the braveness you have been showing so far and consult a psychiatrist or psychologist asap. Psychotherapy should help you in long run. Take Care.