Better to meet a mental health professional in person or online at least and engage n share what ur going through completely. This year World health organisation theme is Depression let's talk . Whatever ur going through is completely curable.

Hi I can understand what you are feeling. This kind of disconnect can happen when we are too preoccupied by some negative thoughts concerning self and others. I strongly feel that you need to share whatever is going on in your head, do it at the earliest . There are times when you need someone who doesn't judge you or doesn't give advise, you just want to be heard neutrally and work towards solving.  Consult a Clinical Psychologist as you can work as a team to gain insight and to work out a treatment plan for your current condition. Trust me counselling sessions online or face to face will definitely make you feel better.

Why do you hate yourself!!! Where you not taught to love yourself. There could be various reasons for your lack of confidence and interests.