I understand your situation. You seem to be suffering from depressive symptoms including worthlessness, pessimism etc. Information regarding your sleep, hunger, energy levels and concentration at whatever you do would be more helpful to decide on the severity of your condition. If suicidal you should seek immediate professional assistance. It is easily manageable with appropriate treatment. Some counselling sessions along with medical help might be useful for you. I would also be more than happy to help you with that if you are looking for online assistance. Discussions will be held confidential. You can directly consult with me through Practo as needed. Online chat consultation is also available.