Hi there,
Can I say how brave it is of you to come out and ask for help. I understand how you must feel to witness your father having a medical condition and on top of that to think that it is because of you. Marriage is a period of role transition, wherein our lives change drastically, it is indeed a stressful period and if there's added adjustment issues, it is even difficult to blend in. I would want to ask if you have an active social support around you, wherein you express yourself and how you feel? It's known to decrease stress levels to share that emotional space with someone. Coming to how you feel like vanishing somewhere, can you type in if you're currently feeling that life has no meaning and you're better off without it? We would need to etch out more details to see if your current mental state requires medical attention.
Next Steps
1. Please reach out to any social support that you have, if you haven't already- it could be a friend, sibling, co-worker, spouse, parents basically anyone.
2. Consult a mental health professional - a Clinical Psychologist or a Psychiatrist
Health Tips
1. Try to jot down your thoughts in a diary, it would help you de-tangle your thoughts
2. Try to engage in any activity that you like or that makes you happy- list it down and do it.
We can start with this and please consult a mental health professional.
you can reach out to me at my clinic in Pitampura, New Delhi. OR book a video session here on practo. You can find in the details on my profile.
Please take care!