Dear you,
You lived for 38yrs of your life. That means you were walking. Breathing and surviving. That simply means that you are worth live .
And the hard reality of life is that we are alone. But surrounded by people.
Next Steps
1. start fresh everyday for atleast a month. whenever you wake up go out and sit at a place where you can see people and feel presence. (that may make you feel lonely initially but you will learn to talk and connect with people, which I feel you already know)
2. learn to let go of expectations. if your family members give you 10 minutes of their time, and you want 15 mins. let go of that 5 minutes of extra expectation.
3. and consult the psychiatrist for bodies reaction to anxiety.
Health Tips
and I would strongly advise to seek psychiatrist help before the symtoms become your identity.