U seem to be severely disturbed.
U r here on this earth for once. U'll never be back again. Why worry so so much about things that aren't in your hands. Try and find positive things happening with and around u. And concentrate on just them. Move over your past.
Next Steps
Start exercising! To an extent that u should be tired and sweating.
U might need to be started on antidepressants if things don't improve.
Health Tips
Keep in close touch of your near and dear friends and family members and also of your psychiatrist