Hi there, i have read about ur problem and i can underatand how u feel right now. there r times when we can adjust and tide over adversities but on other occasions we feel powerless. depression as in ur case is very likely to make one feel the way u do right now. Contrary to common misconception depression is not always associated with problems in social environment or lack of mental strength. it is very much an illness like any other physical problem and it effects ones thoughts, emotions and behaviours. It is a treatable condition and treatment involves medications, counselling (psychotherapy) or even both. So all u need to do is consult ur shrink and facilitate ur mental wellness. i hope this helps u but u r most welcome to raise any further queries