Hello.
I understand that you must be feeling very difficult. It is hard to deal with these feelings and thoughts. However, i appreciate the fact that you are speaking about it and seeking help. It is important to understand the reason (s) for feeling this way. Once you are able to understand the reason you will be able to deal with it better. Even if you feel there is no reason or you feel unaware, it's alright.
Next Steps
I would encourage you to speak to a counselor, where you don't have to think about an agenda of what to speak. You can let the counselor know how are you feeling, this may help to understand the reason and work on it. As mentioned, if you feel there is no particular reason as such, sharing your feelings will help to ease your mind and thoughts.
Health Tips
Sharing your thoughts with someone you trust and love is very important. It is important that you do not bottle up your feelings. Do not be hard on yourself, it's alright. You are doing your best, things will get better.