You need to take some professional help to move on.....Past is dead and gone. You need to change your direction , Same actions give same results..You need to get this out of you for your own good

These are clinical signs of depression . Need support of Psychiatrist with minimal medicine & supportive psychotherapy

Loss of interest, decreased concentration and attention, feeling low and disturbed sleep or appetite are some of the signs of depression. Consult a psychiatrist who will assess you in detail. If you are feeling suicidal or hopeless, seek professional help immediately. Try some relaxation techniques like yoga, meditation and deep breathing. Indulge in hobbies. Spend time with people close to you.

Hello dear, I am really appreciative of the first step towards improving your health condition by seeking help on this platform and talking about your psychological and emotional distress. From the description provided by you here it seems that you are suffering from a depressive episode. I would strongly recommend and urge you seek consultation with a psychiatrist near you. Your health condition will be assessed comprehensively and management can be planned after that. A comprehensive history, physical examination, psychological interview and some investigation like thyroid, hemoglobin etc will be carried out. However if you seek help and move in right direction you can improve completely and get back to your usual​ self. Medication and psychological intervention is usually required for such problems. Hope this helps you. Best wishes for your health and future.