How do you know you have tantophobia... Have u been diagnosed by a practitioner.... If not please don't get diagnosis of net as that will lead to greater and unnecessary emotional distress, if yes then you must continue therapy under the practioner who diagnosed you and discuss the issue with him.
Next Steps
mind is not a light switch that you can switch on and off at will. getting into or out of a relation based on certain unverified assumption is a dangerous thing. please verify your doubts and then take any decision