Dear Sri, When they find their dreams crashing in marriage most people, instead of seeing stark reality, cling on to false hope of a miracle. It needs several assertive steps to move away from the relationship and towards separation. As someond said, divorce is like severing a branch in order to save the entire tree. Most fear divorce because they can't differentiate the between the newfound freedom and the feared loneliness. But you are the one who discovered the difference and worked your way to independence and growth. I truly admire your courage and determination to extricate yourself from the debris of the collapased marriage. Cudos to you!!