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Sexual feelings
Hi im married for 8 years now. my wife is not getting any sexual feelings from 2 years. She has painful sex while inserting. We had been to many gynecologist but no one gave us the right answer. Can someone help in giving us right direction which doctor to consult on the same.
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Dr. Neelima Deshpande
Sexologist 26 yrs exp Pune

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Thank you for your question. I'm sorry that you have been struggling with this problem for some time. I am presuming that the original cause of pain has been dealt with ie infection or injury . Sex can become painful for a variety of reasons and then cause a spasm of the pelvic floor muscles compounding the problem even further. Often pain may have begun with childbirth or surgery or a simple vaginal infection. The fact that sex makes it worse gets stuck in the subconscious mind causing a withdrawal both physically and emotionally whenever sex is anticipated. This then results in loss of desire and also poor arousal which then makes sex even more uncomfortable. The solution is to re learn how to have sex gently and not to have intercourse till arousal is very high and the pelvic floor can be relaxed consciously .Both these require training and daily practice. A sex therapist is best placed to identify your unique triggers and the best way to implement the solution. Additional techniques can be used such as emotional freedom technique or neurolinguistic programming. Rarely the pain is very severe and gets worse with arousal. This is a complex condition and can be managed by a pain specialist who uses certain medication to block the pain signals in the nerves. This is of course the last resort. Pain control medications etc all have their side effects. I would urge you to see a counselor or psychiatrist specialising in sex therapy to help you through this difficult time.
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