Sexual and psychiatry problems. Die.

My age is 50 yrs married. I am only earning member of my family. In my family my oldage father, oldage mother, wife and a son. All depends upon me. But due to my health problem neither I am alive nor dead. Due to excess mastrubation in my childhood now I am facing all problems like body weak, body pain, unable to walk, unable to work, tired, memory loss, weight loss, brain not working, unable to think properly, unable to decide which is right or wrong, can not talk properly with others, always fear, angry, stress, anxiety, depression, no sleep whole night and always hungry. This effects no income. Financial problem, relation problem. Always suicidal thoughts. I have no money for minimum requirement of food, cloth and shelter. Please save me and my family. Otherwise we all will die.