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Relationship dilemma
I don't know whether it's the right platform to ask this question or not but I need some help. I've been in a relationship for 2 years now. I had a horrible experience in my past relationship and somewhere I'm unable to overcome it. The thing is me and my partner barely meet each other. Every time he asks me to go out with him or meet him I simply deny his invitation or make some excuse even though I want to meet him too. It's been a year now since I last saw him. I am just afraid that he might not find me good enough or just leave me. I don't know how to tell him or how to talk about it. Please suggest.
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Hi. You can brief him about past bad things to avoid misunderstanding. The worst cases are everywhere, any authentic guy will understand your truth.
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Brief Interpersonal Therapy
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I am sorry that you had to undergo certain experiences in the past and I really can understand what you go through. What I can comprehend is you have lot of anxiety due to past experience and one way to overcome this anxiety is to face the situation rather avoiding it. When you avoid you will have temporary relief from your anxiety but it's not going to end. As you mentioned above, you fear he might not find you good enough. This is oneof the negative thoughts any person will usually have after a stressful event. Differentiating your FEELINGS from FACTS may help you to overcome this. E.g what are the evidences that he will leave you and if you find evidences you can try how to change it. If you do not see evidences that he will leave you not to worry more.
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You can reach out for professional help to regulate your emotions
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Your apprehension that he may not find you worthy  and fear of loosing him is troubling you. Go out with him. If he doesn't find you worthy then move ahead in life. Remember our likings, choices, and preferences are always right.
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Efore talking about this to your boyfriend, talk to a therapist and get some clarity and understanding about yourself and about your future life.. All thr best.
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Hi.... You can seek professional help for relationship issues as well. Infact lot of couples seek Counselling these days. So be completely ok about it. This fear of abandonment and the backlog of a past toxic relationship is ruining your present relationship and not letting you go down the road to trust and take a leap of faith again.
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Seek professional help. Interpersonal Relationship Counselling is required.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil Senior Psychologist Cell: Nine Six Seven One Three Zero Three One Three Four (whatsapp) Website:https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy App: http://wix.to/fechb08?ref=cl
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.