Relationship counseling. To support him.

Hi Dear,Thank you for reaching out to us. Appreciate you for supporting your boyfriend in this tough time, however according to what you shared, you mentioned that you are getting deprived of emotional support. The good thing about this issue is that you noticed it, since you are able to realise the problem, the next thing you are supposed to do is attend to resolve the problem. Supporting an individual with struggling mental health is a tedious job and this needs emotional support which as you mentioned is not being provided to you.

Would recommend you to seek a mental health provider. And work in how you can get emotional support facilitated to you.

Some tips to help you work on your emotional support is 1.know your emotional boundaries (Google them, you will understand what emotional boundaries are). It's very essential to maintain emotional boundaries to maintain our emotional health. 2. Distribute responsibilities about your boyfriend with people your boyfriend is close to (can be his family and friends) 3. Have your 'Me time' it's essential to have your me time. 4. Allow your boyfriend to work on himself in his space rather than, panicking about him getting into a declined state of mood. It's okay to be WHO YOU ARE. you don't have to be GUILTY because you are unable to attend and resolve. 5. Donot be too hard on yourself. It's okay to not be able to let him feel good.

I understand your predicament. Here is an analogy - in a flight, when they teach you the safety precautions to follow during emergency landings, they ask you to wear the oxygen mask yourself first before you try to help others. It is only when we take ourselves first that we become fit to take care of others - ' You can only give what you have '. In a crisis situation, it is a natural instinct to be supportive of your friend when he is going through challenging times. Whether to stay romantically involved or not - this is a decision to be taken after due deliberation, when you are in a healthy, calm and composed mental state. Hence, the first step is to ensure that you give yourself time to heal and get back on track. Here are a few suggestions that could help you : I want you to know that with awareness of how the mind works and how thoughts are generated, you will get better at dealing with them and thereby be in a position to have clarity about the right choice or decision to make. I want you to know that you are capable of doing this. Kindly read what follows : Understanding the nature of the mind and how thoughts are generated will help you deal with them. The following link leads to an article written on the subject. Kindly go through it first. https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41716 The nature of the Mind, which in simple terms we experience as thoughts, is such that, it will keep shifting its focus from one object/topic/event to another. Ii always needs something to hold on to. Another important characteristic of the Mind is this - You will either have thoughts about the past or the future. This will keep alternating. Try thinking about the present moment - you will see that the Mind and 'Now' can never coexist. The Mind has 3 states in general. Sometimes, you may find yourself having very positive, inspiring thoughts. During other times, you may find yourself very emotional, or all charged for action. Whereas during other times, you may feel very lethargic, dull or lazy. These states will keep alternating. Having understood the nature of the mind, the first step towards mental health is to become aware of your thoughts. Learning to be an observer of your thoughts, learning to observe them from a distance like clouds passing in the sky. The next step is knowing that you have the power to choose which thought you wish to focus on and act on and exercising that power. With practice, you will have better mastery over this process. With practice, you will learn to focus and entertain only those thoughts are healthy enough to be acted upon. A relaxed mental state is a pre-requisite to right words, behavior and actions. And for making the right choices and decisions. The mind and the breath are closely connected. Hence when you fix one you automatically fix the other. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by thoughts, just bring your focus to your breath and take a few relaxing breaths. Here is a breathing exercise that will help you : Inhale to a count of four - hold your breath to a count to of four - exhale to a count of eight. Repeat this ten times. You may also do this in the night, just before lying down to sleep and in the morning before getting off the bed. Whatever you feed your mind through your sense organs will be replayed to you as thoughts. Be conscious of this. Take care of the content you feed your mind - the kind of books you read, the websites you visit, the kind of music you listen to, the kind of food you eat, the kind of company you keep ( "You are an average of five people you spend most of your time with" ) Set aside time to do the following : Ask yourself : Where would I like to see myself ten years from now? What should I do today to reach there ten years from now? What would I do if I knew I wouldn't fail? What would I do if I weren't afraid? No matter how impossible the answers might seem, I want you to know that you can and will make them possible. Take the first step. The rest will follow. A beautiful future awaits you. Take ownership of every moment, take responsibility for it. One day you will thank these dark moments for being the fuel for your success. Please set aside time for exercise daily and make sure you eat healthy every time. Our challenges that seem to threaten our very existence are the ones that serve as fuel for our evolution. Have faith in yourself. You are capable of dealing with this. You are going to do just fine. Take care.