Possessiveness problem

I love my husband very much but I am also very possessive. Is possessiveness correct or wrong ? He says possessiveness is not correct but I feel it's correct and it's my right as his wife
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Doctor Answers (1) on Possessiveness problem

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Ms. Sneha Bhat Bangalore | Counselling Psychologist
I am glad that you have thought about your husband's opinion here and have asked this question though it's different from your opinion. That is the first requirement from a great marriage. To put in efforts to understand your husband/wife though they are different from you. Now coming to your question, i would like you to Imagine playing with a toy during your childhood. You owned it and liked playing with it. It belonged to you and not to your siblings or friends. Now that you liked it, you wanted it for yourself however there was a fear that your siblings or friends might play with it or steal it. You protected it with all your might so that it remains with you. Now, think further about two things. Would you have enjoyed playing with the toy while there was a fear in your mind all the time of loosing it..?? Secondly, that was just a toy, an object and your husband is a person that too one you love. He comes with his own thoughts and emotions. He also has his own set of friends, career & relatives. What about his thoughts & emotions..?? No doubt as a wife, you are close to him, care for him & deserve to be his top most priority however love is something which has to be built together eventually in the marriage on the foundation of trust. End of the day, it's about creating a marriage where both of you are getting your own space and also giving each other attention. I already see that you both communicate your opinions to each other which is great. Think about both of your happiness and work on it. If you find it hard, do consult a psychologist/couple therapist who could help you create a loving life you wish for Best, Sneha Bhat
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