Performance anxiety. More. kindly help!

It's my 2nd drop, preparing for neetpg. When I was intern scored 265 marks, then during 1drop scored 290marks. I study whole day, no job nothing, only studying and solving mcqs. Still in Grand tests I can't score more than 17% I don't know what's being wrong with me. Tomorrow is aiims pg exam, m feeling anxious.. plus I don't feel like it's worth studying. Just wasting parents time and money.. I dont have any senior or junior or friends to whom I can study with or talk about studies. After mbbs all my friends are busy in their own lives.. some work.. some got married.. nd here I m wasting time nd energy nd what not. Pls respected doctors.. tell na how did you manage to be so successful. I want to persue ms obg. I know it's not a good platform to ask about this, but I can't express my self what m feeling. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide, when I feel useless, then I remember my ug days n then I think what not I have faced and managed to reach here.I want to grow more.kindly help