I dont know where to start
I was a topper and serious student till 9th standard,then i dont know what the hell happened to me in 10th standard when everything was good for me and suddenly i started to distract from study , i started taking study not seriously , skipping classes ,day dreaming always , masturbating excessively,hard to concentrate , inattentive to present , having multiple thoughts in mind about everything
Was it ADD ? May be .
It continued till 12th and in 12th i got only 65% ,i couldnt believe that a topper was suddenly became a careless student
I got admission in b.tech where i got 24 back logs ,from 11th standard i am feeling fatigue ,tired , anxious about what happening to me , in b.tech i started to smoke ,drink
Unwilling to do b.tech , and want to do music ,Was it depression ??
Now i have worry thoughts ,suspect and anger to my gf , irritation,
Is it GAD ?
My mom is schizophrenic patient but i dont have any psychotic symptoms . im taking bupron xl 150 wid nexito
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How can u blame the family for the mistakes u had done all these years.
The thought which u hv now should have happened at least after 10th standard.
OK..after that you were still not serious about life and did B.Trch for whose sake .
Or was it for your ego and prestige of your parents. ?!!!
When are you going to be responsible for your behaviors and thoughts and take up the right action to come out of all those past behaviour.
Do consult a psychologist and get a clarity about what u can do from now on.
From your description above I understand that you are having hard time. It looks like you are having depressive symptoms. These distraction reduced concentration skipping classes and loss of interest may be part of your depression also. Detailed evaluation has to be done.
Smoking or alcohol intake also might be a part of your underlying problem which are worsening the problem.
Masturbatory practises need some more elaboration regarding frequency, time spent, control etc.
Suspiciousness towards your partner on what context needs elaboration.
Unwilling to do b tech is the result of your underlying illness.
So you will have to consult the treating psychiatrist and discuss in detail.
For time being continue the meds and consult again at the earliest.
consult at the earliest. Discuss openly about all the issues with psychiatrist. psychotherapy sessions also would help. Take your meds regularly.
relaxation exercises like drop breathing..yoga
regular physical exercise
being regular with your follow ups
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