Mind is not in my control. Who am i.

Hi this is Krishna, my mind is not in my control, some times it is good, active and feeling superb and some times it is so depressive and feeling angry, i hate my self and I want to die as early as possible, I lost my job because of my love, and lose my love also, am trying to get out from her thoughts each and every time she will always remains in my heart. Some times I have confidence about my self, I don't when I am loose my confidence some times it will take fraction of seconds and some times it will take 1 hr 2 hrs. am trying to do any other work to avoid my self, with in the hour she will remains me and loose my control, my brain is not working properly and forgot every thing even i forgot who am i. When I am writing this I am okay. I don't know when I loose myself