Mental unsecurity. Having a loyal lover.

Feel alone all the time. Wierd emotions for being loved. Long time lack of parent love i feel. My parents are working both. They really did hardwork in their life. I have one sibling 5 year elder than me. She was at nani's house till her 8 years. So not good bonding with her. I had a heart problem so i was not allowed to go out of home and play with neighbour children. There was something missing i would feel. At the time of my 10 standard parents had huge expextation with me for result but i was better than average not the topper. So i was forced to study hard . such i had no emotional link with paraents . i would hide my feelings and be alone all the time. Now i m in college and lonlyness is still there inspite of having a loyal lover.