As you have rightly mentioned in your question itself, you need a a "proper consultation" and that can only happen in person. No amount of advcie through this forum is going to solve your problem. What you need to do, is go for a 'Couple's counseling,' where an open communication of your problems will solbe the issue, with an objective third person objective perspective of the therapist/psychiatrist.
Meanwhile, don't react, solve the reason for your irritability, and have patient, calm discussion with your partner.
Irritability is something you can partially control. Irritation from those that are physically close to you requires you to simply learn to accept your own irritation and not act on it. As long as you don't lash out, there isn't that much harm. If you find yourself irritable, take a deep breath and remind yourself that anxiety is what's causing it. If you can, get up and move. If not, you may need to deal with the irritation and then focus on reducing irritation another day.
Irritability with your partner or someone close to you is a bit easier to control. Consider the following important tips and strategies:
Communicate AlwaysYou may be embarrassed or ashamed when you have anxiety, but the person close to you needs to know. This is especially true if you are having (or think you are about to have) a panic attack. Tell your partner. Don't let them guess, and make sure that you are open and talking about everything that you feel. Part of the irritation is from keeping it all inside and having your partner invade your space. Communicating ensures you are not doing that. Apologize quickly as soon as you realize you are being easily irritated, apologize. The longer you sit and get upset with yourself, the more you'll fear irritation in the future and become more likely to be irritable . explain What You need often those close to you have no idea how to talk to you when you are anxious. Make sure that you are open with what you need. If you need someone nearby holding you, tell them. If you need them to try to avoid criticisms when you are suffering, tell them when the best time to talk to you is. Some people need those they care about to talk about something other than their anxiety as a distraction. Practice meditation at least for 20min a day,, which bring down your irritability.
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