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MARITAL COUNSELLING

WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 1.3 YRS.Husband is working abroad and i am working in India.Had an arranged marriage.Marriage was not consummated because husband has some fears that he fails to explain..on friendly terms but he panics at any talks abt intimacy..i visited him right after marriage but again there was weird behaviour on his part and no physical or emotional intimacy..very friendly & supportive when at distance but balks everytime there is talk of a future together..after realizing there is something wrong,tried the friendly way..seemed to be working and he opened up and started talking abt a life together but as soon as my flight was booked for visiting him,he again had a panic attack and said that he doesnt want the marriage as he now wants to live alone and is comfortable staying alone and that will not be able to do justice to our relationship.Once we strt discussing he again calms down..we need to know the real reason behind this panic?is it physical or mental??
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Doctor Answers (4) on MARITAL COUNSELLING

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Dr. Lakshmi T Rajan Chennai | Counselling Psychologist
Answered
Dear friend,
Happy that you are trying hard to hold the marriage. His panic attacks might be due to many possibilities. Unless we sit and talk to him, it is difficult to make any conclusions. When you visit next or when he comes here, visit a psychotherapist and get help. Before going for your counseling sessions don't try any medication.
Any assistance required feel free to contact me
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Get help from a psychotherapist
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Make little lifestyle changes to have a positive approach to life.
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Probably he needs individual counselling first, later marital. He might have performance anxiety. As he is outside india , so its better wen u wl go there, go for counselling. Dont try medicines before confirmation of diagnosis. Best wishes
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Ms. Hema Sampath Bangalore | Clinical Psychologist
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Hi,  You are right,  he is into some inhibitions,  maybe from.his past experience  or something which he would Either heard Or read about Or  some of his close friends or relatives could have encountered  and shared with him.

When he visits India  do consult a Marriage Counsellor in your city and let him come out of those issues with a better clarity.

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Dr. Sunil K Arora Saharanpur | Counselling Psychologist
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Hi, concerned, It is really commendable that you are raising the issue.It seems that you have tried hard to save this marriage. But marital counseling should help in case you both are willing to come forward.As you are explaining about may be a 50% information.It is very clear that in this case you are not disordered as you undoubtedly want to make this happen.But unless we know his fears/history ,the solution is next to impossible.You both are welcome to initiate a chat..All the best..
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