Lost track of myself & hv negativ image.

I would like to make a few suggestions that could be helpful. No doubt the setbacks have been traumatizing but they are not an indicator of your worth in the least. Now that you know that you have the strength and resolve to persevere even when you experience the worst kind of failures, gather your learnings and figure out what truly matters to you. Once you have clarity about what you truly wish to achieve, you will see that you have the resources intact within you. Psychological, emotional and physical well being as essential prerequisites for the journey. As you know, just like a healthy diet, regular physical activity and adequate rest contribute towards physical well being, there are practices that can help you take care of your psychological and emotional well being. Usually, we may tend to think that ' let me be in a good mood and then I'll do something that's good for me '. From your own experiences, you must be knowing that it's actually the reverse that works. Once you incorporate these practices in your daily routine, you will soon begin to see their impact in the way you think, feel and behave. You cannot drive out darkness dealing with it face-to-face. But once you light a candle, darkness automatically disappears. When you begin to focus on what's calling for your attention and needs to be addressed within you, rest assured that you will see situations turning around in your favor too. But, take responsibility and take charge, you must. The nature of the mind, which in simple terms we experience as thoughts, is such that, it will keep shifting its focus from one object/topic/event to another. Today the mind might be fixated on something. Tomorrow it could be another topic/event/person. Another important characteristic of the mind is this - You may either have thoughts about the past or the future. Try thinking about the present moment - you will see that you cannot have thoughts about the present moment. The Mind has 3 states in general. Sometimes, you may find yourself having very positive, inspiring thoughts. During other times, you may find yourself very emotional, or all charged for action. Whereas during other times, you may feel very lethargic, dull or lazy. These states may keep alternating. Having understood the nature of the mind, the first step towards mental health is to become aware of your thoughts. Learning to be an observer of your thoughts, learning to observe them from a distance like clouds passing in the sky. Just like how the clothes you are wearing right now are yours, but not you, thoughts that you experience from time to time are yours, but not you. The next step is knowing that you have the power to choose which thought you wish to focus on and act on and exercising that power. With practice, you will have better mastery over this process. When you repeatedly focus on a thought, say, a thought which is threatening or disturbing by nature and identify with it, believing it to be true, the corresponding emotion rises in your brain. It overpowers your capability to think rationally. The cycle repeats and hence you feel imprisoned by your own thoughts and emotions. As mentioned above, with practice, you will learn to focus and entertain only those thoughts that are healthy enough to be acted upon. You will also be able to be more aware of your emotions and this awareness will help you manage them better. Figuratively speaking, all emotions come through the same pipeline and hence you cannot and need not selectively block a few and welcome the others. Awareness puts you back in charge whereby you can channelize them better. Usually when we experience disturbing thoughts, we may tend to fight, resist or control them. Again, fighting a thought is like fighting a shadow. You can see it, but it's not real. Fighting a thought or emotion only gives it more power. Say, for instance, when someone asks you not to think of a pink elephant, the first thought that invariably comes to you is that of a pink elephant. Instead, what we can do is, learning to be an observer of such thoughts and emotions( that are only based on past experiences and hence are no longer true or relevant today or do not serve your highest good ) and not identify with them or act on them. Here is a breathing exercise that could help you : You may do this in the night once you have finished with your tasks for the day : Inhale slowly to a count of four - hold your breath to a count of four - exhale slowly to a count of eight. Repeat this ten times. You may do this also in the morning before you begin your daily routine. Whatever you feed your mind through your sense organs have an impact on your psychological and emotional well being. Be conscious of this. Take care of the content you feed your mind - the kind of books you read, the websites you visit, the kind of music you listen to, the kind of food you eat, the kind of company you keep ( "You are an average of five people you spend most of your time with" ) Our attitude towards life in general and things in particular is based on our Beliefs - what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world. What are your core beliefs about yourself and the world? Try writing them down and examine the validity of these beliefs. Some of them may be limiting and negative in nature because of some of the feedback you might have received while growing up - at home, in school, from your classmates, friends, relatives, etc. But once you are aware of them, you shed light on them,examine their truth, they can no longer manipulate your behavior or actions. As your beliefs change, your attitude changes, and words, actions and behavior follow. Please set aside time for exercise daily and try to eat healthy every time. Our challenges that seem to threaten our very existence are the ones that serve as fuel for our evolution. Here are a few links that could be helpful : https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41615 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41642 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41716 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41742 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41639 Step One https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41640 Step Two https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41641 Step Three https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41645 Step Four Take care.