Helow doc.. I am sick and tired of a problem since the first day of my life and that is i cant adjust with my father.. His nature is too much dominating and he does not want to give me a little space.. he always pinches me through out the day so that i react and a horrible fight can take place... But that does not mean he does not love me.. he does care for me...but i hate him from the day one and i have a deep down anger and hatred for him.. Two years of my b.tech course are left so that i can get a good job and separate myself to make a world of my own...but ego clashes and daily fights are making my life hell...how can i get over from this??
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Hi; based on the information you have provided you could be having an adjustment disorder or unresolved psychodynamic conflicts with primary support group in this case your father right from your childhood. You could also be having certain personality factors which could be clashing with your father 's personality factors. Kindly understand that the anger kept in the heart and mind is not good for your physical and emotional health. Kindly understand that it is difficult to change others; but it is easier to change oneself. Although there may be some instances when your father could be wrong; there may be some instances where you could also be wrong. Introspect and let the locus of change be on your own self no matter how worse the situation gets. Thats where the role of psychotherapy can help you as it can understand the reason of this anger within you; and help you cope better with life. Certain principles of anger management; insight oriented psychodynamic and perspective oriented psychological strategies can help you cope better with the situation. It could be possible that you or your father could be having certain symptoms of stress or anxiety or depression which could be a hidden reason behind excessive anger. Individual and Joint sessions with your father and you together with a psychiatrist who is available near your locality in your city could be helpful as well.
Kindly consult a psychiatrist near your locality in your city who can clinically evaluate you; counsel you; teach you anger management principles; help you cope better with the situation and counsel your family as well. Based on clinical expertize ; the psychiatrist that you consult in your locality in your city may also prescribe you some medicine for your anger problems and may suggest evaluation for concerned family members as well based on the clinical interview and assessments.
Kindly do not react. Kindly take deep breaths and try to relax when feeling angry. One can try to keep silent when one sees another person getting angry. If you see your father angry and you argue back it can make situation worse. Kindly cut down excess stress. Kindly be the first one to say sorry even if it was not your complete fault ;sometimes it can helpful. Try to listen to some relaxing music on a daily basis and keep a healthy lifestyle of yoga; walking; gym; etc. Be focused on your studies. Kindly don't act out on your anger or take any major decisions in a fit of anger outburst as it can make matters worse.
Interpersonal issues between family members are getting more common due to multiple factors. A good therapist can help you both understand the basis of such conflict. A family assessment including communication patterns, role and leadership patterns, emotional involvement, mutual expectations etc can be assessed and the situation can be helped. In such conflicts it is quite important to understand perspectives of all concerned you, your father, other members etc. Kindly meet a good therapist around you to seek help in such situation. Best wishes for future.
Hi, I understand your distress, living in the conditions you have mentioned can be really stressing. But, since this involves another person, you must understand that suggesting you something doesn't change your dad's behaviour towards you. And also, does he behave like this only towards you or is he like that in general? Have you ever spoken to your father regarding how hurtful it is for you for having to face this on day to day basis?
Looks like this problem warrants for a psychological evaluation.i would suggest a family therapy. There are good clinical psychologists in your city , you may consider contacting them alone first and then taking your family with you.
Try and talk to your dad about what is hurting you.
When irritated or angry, you can use distraction techniques, easily available online.
You might feel angry, but resisting from showing that anger out might help you keep the situation from going into a fight. (long term suppression of anger is not good. I suggest u practice this until a psychological consultation, post which you can follow wat your therapist says).
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