mental-health-icon

Fake friends

Hello ! i am typically a person who trust deeply . I have a friend whom i trusted. Am pursuing my masters . Am surrounded by too much competition as a student. I am sad because i helped my friend . She is very bossy . She do help me but puts me down in front of others. She does same with others as well. I hate that attitude. She lie a lot. During exam; she instantly keep telling that she hasn't prepared and she would fail. Those thoughts is so disturbing to me. Even though i prepared well for exams. I score less. I blame(partially) my discouraging friend. She is so dependant and selfish who doesnt allow me to talk with others. I lost so many friends because of her. I feel lonely sometimes. i feel i have changed due to her. But she is just using me . she makes sure that others get poorer score than her. If someone is gaining attention. She will hurt and control their emotions so that everybody love and pay attention only to her. Pls provide tips to be away from her. I feel she is fake.
views-icons 69 Views bookmarks-icon 1 Bookmark 1 Share Bookmark this Answer
Bookmark
v

Doctor Answers (2) on Fake friends

doctor profile image
Ms. Sneha Bhat Bangalore | Counselling Psychologist
Answered
At this point you feel cheated. Neither a friend whom you considered so dear seems to be your true well wisher and nor the exam results which matters so much to you have gone in your favor. You seem to know your friend's nature so well then why is it that you cannot reduce the association..?? Let's see the reason for this so that you can start working on handling your life better. Insecurity is a basic human nature. We all are insecure to a lesser or greater extent. We all would have created an image of our self in our own mind as well as society and try our level best to maintain it as it is or strengthen it. We will be insecure about loosing this image. There are 2 ways in which people usually handle insecurity. 1st way is to try and manipulate the people around or situations to maintain one's own image irrespective of the variation in situations or people. This is the type of person your friend is. In her head she is the smartest as well as most loved person. She manipulates you & others in best way possible in line with situations to maintain her image. This sort of people usually tend to be dominating. There is a second way in which people try to be secure which is by manipulating one's own body, wishes & emotions. For them security is in love & acceptance from others in one way or the other. You are in this category. For you people's love & admiration is very important and rejection is hard to accept. This sort of people usually tend to be nice to others however easily bossed over & hurt in the process. Having said this let me tell you that there is a third way to manage insecurity which you need to consider. In first 2 ways you decide your level of security & acceptance by approval from the society. In this way you would be your judge. You say things that makes you feel good & you do things which are in line with your self-respect. This way you have your own evaluation of right & wrong. From this position, whenever you see your friend manipulating you, you just point it out. Whenever you see yourself manipulating your emotions or activities for others stop yourself right there and ask if it is really making you happy..?? This way you would take care of your well-being and also can share true joy & love with others because you happen to be happy. It's hard to change all of a sudden from the way you are however start from today & keep implementing it. You would make your life the way you want. Remember when you are unhappy inside how much ever you study, it's hard to stop disgruntled emotions from interfering.Take Care.
Flag this Answer
Flag this answer
2/2 people found this helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES NO
doctor profile image
Dr. Anil Kumar Jain Bangalore | General Physician
Answered
Hello there. Some people are like that and it's their nature nothing can be done regarding that. If you feel you have issues, then stop even thinking about her and stay away from her, quit talking to her. If she does wrong things, people will know you won't have to prove anything to anyone also. And let me tell you one more thing. The marks are not important, it's not the measure of your intelligence, your knowledge is important. Do study well and be happy with your score but don't stop learning. Forget about what others score. Regards
Flag this Answer
Flag this answer
message icon Let others know if this answer was helpful
Was this answer helpful?
YES NO