EXTRA MARITAL ISSUE. Please help!

So unfortunate! An affair by your partner devastates you. It forces you to lose trust in your partner and leaves you feeling alone and helpless and unloved and worthless. Most victims of the affair who have met me ask this question: "Why me?" They feel sad, angry, depressed. They keep fighting to be heard. But their cry falls on the deaf ears.

An affair is the time when you can look into yourself. You will realise how fused you have been with your partner, and as a result, how weak you have become, and how powerful your partner seems to you. You wish you had grown over your partner. This thought of growing over your partner will stimulate you to empower yourself!

Here are certain tips on how to handle yourself when your partner has an affair: One: Don't waste your energy to fight the partner. Just distance him and disconnect from him. Two: If you are financially dependent on your partner do get a job first and start earning. Any small job will give you a great financial freedom which will help you define your independence. Three: Talk to your partner and announce to him that unless he stops the affair you are going to leave him. If he denies he ever has an affair or if he refuses to stop, don't keep hanging on to him or argue with him with the  hope that he will understand you. Don't play "Sati Anusuya" either. Just leave him. If leaving him immediately is not feasible, disconnect from him and start non-cooperation movement against him. Stop looking after his daily needs like cooking for him, looking after his needs. Sleeping with him for sex a strict no no. Four: Muster any support from your relatives and friends, however little you may get. Emotional, financial or a temporary accommodation - grab whatever comes by. Five: If he shows some interest in returning to you, don't reconcile with him assuming that the problem is over. It is necessary for him and you to introspect what made him go for an affair in the first place, and what your contribution to it was. Both of you need to take part in relationship rebuilding which can be very difficult and painful. Old memories rise their ugly heads triggering a fight. Consult a marriage (couple) counsellor. Six: if your partner does not return after some reasonable time, you have to take the legal recourse. Consult a lawyer. Lastly, affairs can help us to find who we are as persons and make us become more matured.