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Depression
I don't know but I want myself to be sad and don't want to be happy l. I feel like I dont deserve it. And I am on medications that make me feel happy but my thoughts never go away. I feel that i I should punish myself. I don't feel any motivation reaching up to me. And the part that irks me the most is that I feel good and nothing at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I may be faking it and hates myself even more.
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Since you are on medication which seems to be working in elevating your mood. What you need is to speak to a counsellor who can help you deal with your thoughts and emotions. Regular counselling can help you in the long run.
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.