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Depress, confused decisio
We are looking for matches for my brother from 3 years. He was not telling OK for many matches and if my Dad ask him if you like girl's photo or not, he gets irritated and used to tell not to nag him, he will tell if he likes. 10 days before he told OK for a match and our parents fixed engagement also, engagement is after 4 days and now he is telling "As my Dad is forcing me since 3 years for marriage , now I am not in a state to decide anything, so I said Yes to the match, am not interested now. Tell NO to the bride's parents". If we ask him, he is blaming my dad for forcing him for 3 years for marriage and telling I will not come for engagement" He was not like that before. I feel he is depressed or mentally not stable. Pl advise what to do?
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Ms. Sneha Bhat
Counselling Psychologist 3 yrs exp Bangalore
Hey, Your brother need not be disturbed or depressed however certainly seems confused about marriage and his expectations of life partner. I can imagine what your family might be going through balancing between your responsibility, love & concern on one hand and his seemingly ignorant & confused take on marriage on the other. What is required from your brother's end is a certain clarity about his views on marriage, expectations from the partner, idea about the relationship and the sort of role his family is expected to play during the process. Only when he is clear and firm, can you gain a clarity about process of engaging his marriage. Please take an assistance of a psychologist or counselor who could help your brother gain clarity and also to express his point of view freely.
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