Crying badly. He hangs out with now.

I have listed just a few of them in the previous post. I was in a relation for more than 4years. In between for 1 n half yr v were separate, because of problems. Then after that somehow v came back. N then i started getting possesiv about him hanging with his first love. I am his second. I used to cry badly, even when i know he loves me. I told him about this. He said he will leave her. But i dint want their friendship to break so told i will try to adjust. But 6 months passed and i couldnt adjust. So i finally asked him to leave her. He said he vont. Then i had to break up with him as i couldnt handle that crying alone always. 8 months have passed. I still love him and i try to say myself that m strong and i can be without him. But i know i cant and i want to be with him. Recently he messaged me to come back. But now i have started blaming him that he couldnt leave her for me and couldnt support me at my worst. I have started getting possessiv about every girl he hangs out with now.