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Breakup and difficulty moving on
Hello ,
I am 27 yrs old female and have gone through breakup of 12 yrs ( 2 yrs know how and 10 yrs of relation ). We used to have lot of fights specially when he will not give priority to me on expected times or be on same page as and when required. He broke up with me 2 yrs back and moved on with some other girl. I found it little unusual that I always kept asking for basic priorities of a relation and he went on to appreciate some other women so quickly. Also , we had started our relation even when we were in different states for studies for 5 yrs and never go away due to that distance. His such rude behaviour after breakup is making me feel he is not the same man I knew for yrs. Or he was a good actor. He now put all blame ony fights for breakup and yell at me when I try to call him. One strange thing I noticed that I had earlier relations which got broke and I moved on quickly but with him it was always difficult to call a breakup from day 1. I dnt know why. I never been obsessed.
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Hello dear
Sorry to know that you are in this state and would tell you to be hopeful that you can come out of this with appropriate efforts .
In a relationship often one person gets more dependent than the other .
This makes this one person difficult to overcome specially whn the other is seen being able to move out comfortably.
You seem to be that one person right now.
But remember thousands of people were dependent just like you ate right and they did overcome this phase so can you .
Memories will interfere and let them come don't run from them but also remember these memories are everyday going to reduce its effects and intensity .
consider them just like a memory of your experience which gave you some learning and strength.
Also , I see the value you put to yourself is pretty low otherwise whn he showed that he doesn't want you as his girlfriend after this trying to convince him or asking him to understand is like stepping on your self respect
Reach out for Counseling , here we have effective ways to raise your self esteem , treat your dependency.
Goodluck
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Sometimes people are unable to differentiate between love and infatuation. You should seek help of clinical psychologist to correct your thinking pattern.
Next Steps
consult a clinical psychologist.
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Obsession and thoughts Related to break up are normal and it will be there for sometime. There is no need to worry about it. Don't worry that you have obsessions or negative thoughts. These are very common. Just move on
Next Steps
Engage yourself in activities which keeps you busy. One or two counselling sessions also should help you.
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Ms. Komal Singh Parihar
Psychologist
4 yrs exp
Navi Mumbai
Hello dear
I know that you might be feeling so confused and yet irritated right now regarding your feelings and emotions. It must be not just a normal or casual relationship from your side but for him, it is the past. You might be feeling dejected and your self confidence may also have been effected.
At this time, before you take any further step in your life, you need to consult a counsellor who could guide you towards your betterment and to help you in moving on.
You can also contact me if you need any further assistance.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Psychologist
13 yrs exp
Bangalore
Hi... Do you feel obsessed because this time the control is not in your hand. He is the one making all the decisions, like breaking up, moving on, blaming, not receiving calls, etc.
It is very common for us to feel this way when we are at the receiving end of a broken relationship. The only truth remains here is very simple, he doesn't love you anymore and doesn't care what happens to you afterwards.
Yes, he could have been little more considerate in his approach, but honestly how much do we care when we are breaking a relationship and moving on to another.
Yes, we must put some efforts to end a relationship with respect and decency, atleast 5% of effort we put to build that relationship. But this is the kind of world we have created and are creating for ourselves.
Next Steps
Start taking Counselling Sessions from a Psychologist to overcome this sadness caused by this toxic relationship and breakup.
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Mr. Gunjan Maithil
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Cell: Nine Six Seven One Three Zero Three One Three Four (whatsapp)
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https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
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