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Anger issues around kid
I have a 2 year old, family support, working from, IT professional. I get bouts of uncontrollable anger on my kid on her ways which are completely normal and natural at her age. I regret within a few minutes and feel like crying. She gets afraid and this becomes my biggest fear that i am scarring her for life by expressing my anger on her and not being able to manage it better. I don't physically hurt my kid, but scream and yell, have sometimes pinched on extreme anger which I regret so much that i can't explain. How do I manage my anger? How do i figure the underlying issues around me anger?
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Answers (5)

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Hi, have you always been like this with your child or has this been happening lately during COVID times? The good thing is that you realise that your anger is stemming from inside of you and has nothing to do with the way your daughter is behaving. Managing your stress will help with your reactions to your daughter.
Next Steps
You can contact me and we can do a short therapy course on parenting tips and managing stress. Being a parent of two very naughty boys and a psychologist , I think I will be able to help you get through this. You can contact me on Practo. And by no ways does this make you a bad mother. The fact that you are reaching out for the betterment of your child makes you a great mother!!
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Hello. I understand that you are having a difficult time dealing with this anger, more so because it is affecting your child, which maybe the last thing you want to do. I can also see that you are trying your best to deal with this anger, which I appreciate. With anger, we need to understand that most often there tend to be an underlying issue or emotion that could be triggering this anger. It is important to understand what that is. Only then we can be able to deal with the situation better. In other words, it is important to find the source of this anger. It could be a suppressed feeling or emotion, or due to external stressors as well. However it is important to identify the same. It is also important to understand if this anger is only expressed towards the child. If so, then why.
Next Steps
It is important to let out your emotions and feelings at this point of time. The more you suppress them the more intense they can get. Maybe if you could start speaking to a close friend or someone you trust and find comfortable enough to talk about your feelings and emotions, this can also help you to understand and identify if there is any suppressed feeling that you are dealing with which may be the cause of your anger.
Health Tips
I am sorry about how you are feeling. It is important to understand that you are doing your best, it may take certain time to deal with the situation fully, however you are doing what you can. It is also important that you are not being too hard on yourself, children find comfort in reassurance. Reassure to your child how much you love her.
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As you have mentioned, there could be some underlying issues behind it. It could be about yourself, about the some of the family members, or your office routine, etc. I suggest you to consult a psychological Counselor for a therapy to get some clarity and to overcome this issue.. You can reach me by using the link given below :- https://prac.to/hema-sampath-psychologist-dir
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I appreciate that you have taken step forward to understand the reason behind your anger and seeking the methods to manage the anger. Every human mind throws the developed stress within them unknowingly or knowingly on some other thing. During that situation you might be not aware what are you doing, or you are completely in control of your anger. You are burning inside with some unknown reason, due to that pain inside you are behaving abnormal. Finding the pain in you and addressing it. Learning to handle stress and minimizing it. Learning the art to dilute the anger within self.
Next Steps
Train your heart and mind to manage every situation in life.
Health Tips
Do exercise, work on your emotions, have a cold bath, look into your child's eyes.. postpone the actions related to anger.
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I understand your predicament. I would like you to know that with awareness of the nature and physiology of the mind, thoughts and emotions, you can manage them better. Rest assured, you will be able to be the kind of parent you'd ideally aspire to be. Kindly read what follows : The nature of the Mind, which in simple terms we experience as thoughts, is such that, it will keep shifting its focus from one object/topic/event to another. Today the mind might be fixated on something. Tomorrow it could be another topic/event/person. Another important characteristic of the Mind is this - You may either have thoughts about the past or the future. Try thinking about the present moment - you will see that you cannot have thoughts about the present moment. The Mind has 3 states in general. Sometimes, you may find yourself having very positive, inspiring thoughts. During other times, you may find yourself very emotional, or all charged for action. Whereas during other times, you may feel very lethargic, dull or lazy. These states may keep alternating. Having understood the nature of the mind, the first step towards mental health is to become aware of your thoughts. Learning to be an observer of your thoughts, learning to observe them from a distance like clouds passing in the sky. Just like how the clothes you are wearing right now are yours, but not you, thoughts that you experience from time to time are yours, but not you. The next step is knowing that you have the power to choose which thought you wish to focus on and act on and exercising that power. With practice, you will have better mastery over this process. When you repeatedly focus on a thought ( that springs from a belief that you have and which is threatening or disturbing by nature ) and identify with it, believing it to be true, the corresponding emotion rises in your brain. It overpowers your capability to think rationally. ( Hence the often used phrase - ' anger blinds you '. When you trace back the emotion to it's source, you'd most often find a thought sprung from a belief that you identified with. )The cycle repeats and hence you feel imprisoned by your own thoughts and emotions. As mentioned above, with practice, you will learn to focus and entertain only those thoughts are healthy enough to be acted upon. Usually when we experience disturbing thoughts, our natural tendency is to resist or control them. Again, fighting a thought is like fighting a shadow. You can see it, but it's not real. Fighting a thought or emotion only gives it more power. Say, for instance, when someone asks you not to think of a pink elephant, the first thought that invariably comes to you is that of a pink elephant. Instead, what we can do is, learn to be a distant observer of such thoughts and not identify with them or act on them. Gradually, such thoughts will reduce in impact and frequency. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by thoughts, try bringing your focus back to your breath. Here is a breathing exercise that could help you : You may do this in the night too once you have finished with your tasks for the day : Inhale slowly to a count of four - hold your breath to a count of four - exhale slowly to a count of eight. Repeat this ten times. You may do this also in the morning before you begin your daily routine. Gently massage the back of your neck and the base of the skull when you lie down to rest. Whatever you feed your mind through your sense organs will be replayed to you as thoughts. Be conscious of this. Take care of the content you feed your mind - the kind of books you read, the websites you visit, the kind of music you listen to, the kind of food you eat, the kind of company you keep ( "You are an average of five people you spend most of your time with" ) Our attitude towards life in general and things in particular is based on our Beliefs - what we believe to be true about ourselves and the world. What are your core beliefs about yourself and the world? Try writing them down and examine the validity of these beliefs. Some of them may be limiting and negative in nature because of the kind of feedback you received while growing up - at home, in school, from your classmates, friends, relatives, etc. But once you are aware of them, you shed light on them,examine their truth, they can no longer manipulate your behavior or actions. As your beliefs change, your attitude changes, and words, actions and behavior follow. In case you are dealing with any kind of stress in particular, I would like you to know that one of the definitions of stress is the thought(s) or the belief that you don't have the capability and the resources to address, to deal with, to successfully overcome the challenge(s) that is right in front of you now. Consider the components of this equation - On one end you have the object that induces this belief in you ( it might be a person/event/situation ). Reflect on the possible sources of stress for you. Is there anything you can do to change this side of the equation? On the other end, you have your resources to tackle it - reflect on whether you have done all you can to prepare for it/address it/ do justice to it. The state of our mind has a bearing on our physical health too. So, addressing the root cause will help you overcome any physical challenges you might be experiencing too. Please set aside time for exercise daily and make sure you eat healthy every time. Our challenges that seem to threaten our very existence are the ones that serve as fuel for our evolution. Here are a few links that could be helpful : https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41615 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41716 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41867 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41735 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41642 https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41639 Step One https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41640 Step Two https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41641 Step Three https://fit.practo.com/#!/content/41645 Step Four Take care.
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.