Mandakini, first I want to acknowledge how much you’ve been carrying. Losing your child in April must have been heartbreaking, and on top of that, navigating a marriage where you feel unheard and disrespected is understandably leaving you disturbed. It takes a lot of courage to even put these feelings into words. From what you’ve shared, I hear two strong needs in you: one is the need for peace and connection with your husband, and the other is the need to feel respected and valued as an individual. Right now, it seems like you’re sacrificing one for the other, and that imbalance is causing deep pain. What I’d encourage you to do is:
Give space for your grief. You’ve gone through trauma, and it deserves acknowledgment. Journaling, talking with a trusted friend, or therapy can help you release it. Set small boundaries. You don’t have to overhaul your marriage overnight. Start with one thing that matters to you—whether it’s how he speaks to you in front of family, or how decisions are made—and assert it calmly but firmly. Shift from blame to expression. Instead of “you never respect me,” try “when I’m not heard, I feel hurt and distant.” This keeps the door open for dialogue. Remember your daughter. She needs a mother who feels strong and whole, not one who is silenced. Sometimes, anchoring yourself in her well-being gives you strength to speak up.
Next Steps
Right now you’re carrying unresolved grief from the stillbirth and the years of holding back. Give yourself permission to cry, write, or pray. If you bottle this up, it will keep spilling out in arguments. When he gives you the silent treatment, resist the urge to beg or repeatedly ask what’s wrong. That feeds the cycle. Instead, you can calmly say once: “I’d like to talk when you’re ready, but I won’t accept being ignored.” Then withdraw gently into your own space—read, care for your daughter, or connect with supportive people. This shows strength without escalating.
Health Tips
To steady yourself emotionally:
Keep a small journal—write down what you feel instead of holding it in.
Practice slow breathing: inhale 4 seconds, hold 2, exhale 6. It calms racing thoughts.
If negative self-blame comes (“I lost the child because of me”), gently replace it with: “This was not my fault. My body and heart need care.” Your daughter is watching how you treat yourself. Modeling self-respect will teach her what healthy love looks like.
Healing doesn’t mean you leave him; it means you stop abandoning yourself.