Hello, Bottling up your feelings and emotions is rather unhealthy. I do understand that at times it can be difficult to discuss some parts of our life with others. However if the traumatic part keeps disturbing you, please do not hesitate or delay in seeking help. I would strongly recommend and urge you to seek a consultation with a psychiatrist or a clinical psychologist near you for comprehensive assessment and further management. I do think that a psychological intervention can help you get out of the current situation. Hope this helps you.Best wishes for your health and future.