I can completely understand your situation but harming yourself is not a solution to the problem rather working on what caused the hatred would give you the peace and happiness you are looking for. All you have to do is seek the help of a Psychologist or Counselor. You could also consult me online.

I am able to understand your concern. You seem to be suffering from adjustment problems with depressive symptoms. However more clarity is needed regarding your current issues. How is your sleep and hunger? And concentration at studies as it is also important at this stage of your life. I would be more than happy to help you handle your situation. It is easily manageable. Some counselling and if needed medical help might be useful for you. You can directly consult with me through Practo. Discussions will be held confidential. Online chat consultation is also available.