Hello, Everyone faces different types of struggles and challenges in their lives, and some of them are bigger than others, but choosing to end your life is not the solution to any problem. It will just pass on your grief to those who love you. You should go and visit a psychologist, who will help you sort out the feelings you have associated with the childhood incident that troubles you. The psychologist will also help you figure out strategies in order to deal with the consequences and residual emotions of the incident and will help you understand how to control the frequency and intensity of your disturbing thoughts.

Dear Ms. you need to get a through understanding of sadness, grief and depression. You need to live in present. Thinking about the things which have gone wrong in the past is very common, everybody does it at some point in his or her life, but thinking about them all in and out stresses your brain. It stops you from focusing on your present which leads to failures and sadness because you are not able to do things right. The suicidal thoughts are big concern

Thinking about  the things which have gone wrong in the past is very common, everybody does it at some point in his or her life, but thinking about them all in and out stresses your brain. It stops you from focusing on your present which leads to failures and sadness because you are not able to do things right.

Hi, yes to come out of an issue which has affected you is difficult. Yet you can do it with a professional help.

You are suffering from depression, it's a medical disorder which can happen to anyone even without reason, please consult a psychiatrist