hello. you are describing anger, fear of losing everything, and being full of emptiness. all these points towards depression with anxiety. this can happen to any one of us. this results due to chemical changes in the brain. if you are getting thoughts to damage yourself, I suggest, please see a Psychiatrist and you will get better. All the above symptoms are how your body is reacting to what's happening around you. we may not be able to change your circumstances but we can definitely increase your resilience to take care of these problems.
Next Steps
you can consult me at Bandra Care Clinic