Did you ever tried to speak it out to someone with  whom you feel comfortable?!!! If not dear, I think by consulting a psychological Counselor you Might get an answer for your life.

Hello dear young lady, Your question on this platform does nor provide me with details of your current emotional problems. However I will like to say that if you are having ideas about self harm or suicide, please seek a psychiatrist near you at the earliest, such thoughts are a mental health emergency and needs to be managed through immediate attention and intervention. Please visit a psychiatrist near you at the earliest for correct assessment and further management. Please do not ignore such ideas and seek help immediately. If you take the first step, help will be available for you. Also please share your problems with those near to you. Please refrain from acting on such ideas. Hope this helps you, wishing the best for you. Thanks

Hello...... This habbit leads to insomnia.. You have to rein in your mind. Mind constantly wonders here and there.. But Atleast when you are in bed you should avoid all these .. Listen to pleasant music. Read some books.. Try to involve in some activity and concentrate in that activity..