Thank you for sharing all of this so openly it shows how much pain you’ve been holding in, and how much you want to feel better. .
From what you’re describing m, trauma with your mother’s health, an ex-relationship, a toxic work environment, and now ongoing stress with your own health, your system sounds overwhelmed. Your body and mind are carrying years of stored stress, and it’s showing up in anger, tears, and loss of interest. That’s not weakness—it’s your nervous system saying, “I can’t hold any more without help.”
According to DSM 5: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD):
You’ve seen repeated traumatic events (your mother’s ICU experience, personal relationship trauma, hostile work culture). DSM-5 lists symptoms like intrusive memories, emotional reactivity, difficulty calming down, anger outbursts, and sleep disturbance. These overlap with what you’re experiencing..
Major Depressive Disorder (MDD):
Frequent crying, loss of interest in things you once enjoyed, withdrawal from relationships, and low motivation are classic DSM-5 depression symptoms.
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD):
Overthinking, restlessness at night, rapid heart rate, irritability, and difficulty staying calm all map onto DSM-5 anxiety criteria.
Next Steps
Professional support: Trauma therapy (like CBT or EMDR) really helps with exactly what you’re .
Health Tips
Grounding when overwhelmed: Put your feet flat on the ground, notice 5 things around you, and take slow breaths (inhale 4, hold 2, exhale 6). This tells your body it’s safe right now.
Trauma journaling: Write down the memories and emotions before bed—don’t carry them in your mind. It helps reduce night overthinking.
Anger release: Instead of holding it in, move it out, walk fast, squeeze a pillow, do wall push-ups. Anger is stored energy, and the body needs to release it
Small joy practice: Even if you don’t “feel like it,” schedule one small thing daily that used to bring you peace (a walk, a book, prayer, soft music). It slowly re-trains your brain to seek calm instead of chaos.