Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help. Thank for taking the first step to discuss this problem and finding out a solution. You need to ventilate your feelings, emotions and concerns to someone  who care like family or friends. But if you hesitate to discuss with them, take a guidance of psychology counselor, who is neutral and can assess your current suitation and provide suitation solutions. You have a option of online consultation which is easy and convenient in such scenario.