I am able to understand ur difficulties. U seem to have some of the symptoms of social anxiety. It makes a person lose his confidence and reduces his potential. V would need to know a few more details like ur sleep, frequency, other situations that might make u anxious etc to give appropriate suggestions. Ur problem can be easily treated with counselling and if needed medications. U will be able to function better with it. Don't let ur problems affect ur personal or professional help. U need to consult a psychiatrist. If u want to consult online, I will be more than happy to consult u. Best wishes for speedy recovery!!